Working and Mothering

So, a couple of weeks into the job, I should probably talk about how it's going.


Back to Teaching

I have resumed my old class from before my son was born, teaching two year olds at a Montessori school.  I'm basically acting as a supply teacher, covering until the end of February, something I offered to do because I had the experience and knew the materials / routine.  After February, it seems fairly unlikely that I will be working before September, although I have learned not to make assumptions!

It has been absolutely wonderful to be back in the classroom.  A little chaotic as I re-adjust, especially since I was accustomed to co-teaching that class, and now it's just me mostly (there's another teacher two days a week).  But the adjustment has gone pretty quickly... the only thing I'm really out of practice on seems to be potty-training, or at least remembering to send the potty-trainees to the potty on a regular basis!

Still, I've been figuring out where the classroom control was breaking down, adjusting the situation accordingly (e.g. introducing more calm-down areas, such as a play-doh table that faces a wall, getting one child to 'read' to the others while I'm doing the diapers in the bathroom), and of course, familiarising the children with me and just how far I can be pushed!  I noticed the first moment of classroom harmony (as opposed to me managing crises!) after a week, and this is now happening regularly.  So are the crises, of course--they're toddlers, after all!  But I'm at the point now where I can start assessing the children more individually and presenting new work to them.

It's all tremendously stimulating and reminds me how much I thrive in a prepared environment for these short bursts of time, as opposed to when I'm doing the child-care in my own home 24/7.


Teaching My Own Children

The crossover between home and school is my daughter, who's joined the class--fortunately, she's the only new pupil this term.  I wasn't sure how this would work out; back when my son joined the class, I was volunteering as classroom assistant for a short period, because there was an influx of new children who needed more attention than one person could give.  He found it very difficult to accept that although I was there, I had to help the other children.  In that situation, the classroom teacher tried to attend to him as much as possible, to give him the idea of another caregiver, but for the few weeks I volunteered, he was very clingy with me in the classroom.

In my daughter's case, she hasn't been particularly jealous of the other children, nor has she needed to assert herself as entitled to any special treatment.  However, it's very much been a case of: "You're my mother. I know I can push you further than that!"  If, as this morning, she's slept badly and is crabby, she'll point blank refuse to put her work away, or her jacket on (thanks, sensory issues!) and will start throwing a tantrum over it, just as she would at home.

That's terribly difficult for me, because what works on the other children won't work on her.  I always describe the difference between parental authority and other authority in these terms: the child knows their Mum won't kill them; they can't be so sure about their teacher.  Fortunately, her lack of discipline is not infecting the other children, but I fret that it's setting a bad precedent for her... that this is how she can (indeed, will!) behave in school, and that she'll continue in this vein even once I'm no longer her teacher.

On the other hand, she's so young (technically too young for this class still), and I know full well that she's always been headstrong.  Chances are, she'd have been disobedient anyway, and I've seen plenty of similar children pass through the toddler class who develop beautifully--they might always test the boundaries of authority, but they learn self-control and become better at picking their battles, and it rarely hurts their social standing or academic interest.

I'm not going to turn around and pretend her behaviour is a positive--it might be indicative of leadership abilities and thinking outside the box or whatever, but it's still a problem if I'm spending half the morning on getting her to put her work away.  Nobody's getting the benefit out of the class that they should be in that scenario.  However, I do need to learn not to get so twitchy just because it's my daughter.  In retrospect, I wish she'd started the class under a different teacher, but this is not a sentence of doom on all her schooldays.

My son, incidentally, has loved having me at school.  I don't have much to do with his classroom, but I act as playground monitor at the start and end of the morning.  The toddlers obviously require a shorter work cycle, so they get more playtime, but the Children's House (3-6 year olds) can come out and play more or less at individual whim while the toddlers are having their playtime.  Because I'm a big believer in getting children outside as much as possible, even on rainy days, I cram everybody onto the covered porch and do warm-up exercises and stand-up action songs for as long as I can hold their interest.

Anyway, my son likes the outdoor play in the morning, and he gets a big kick out of the fact that I'm his Mum.  We did have one incident in the first week where he tried to use this to go to the front of the line, but otherwise, he's not expected any special attention.  He's just excited that I'm there.

It's going to be very interesting to see how both children deal with me stopping work in March.


Work and Housework

The juggling of work and home has not really gone well.  I had settled into a good groove by the end of 2012, in terms of keeping the house going, parenting and keeping some me-time, but as I said in my previous post, I'm a morning person.  That's my productive time, and I used to do a lot of the housework in the mornings.  Now I'm at school in the morning, which is great, because my productivity goes into my job, but by the afternoon I'm wiped.

The problem is because I know this isn't permanent, and I can go right back into my old routine come March, I'm not motivated to figure out a new routine.  Instead, I've remembered the lesson of my children's newborn days and gone into survival mode.  For the next six weeks, the things that have to be done will get done, but most other things will not be done as often as they should be, and as much as possible will be put off altogether.

What I'm saying is that I work only twenty hours a week, and I still can't do the housework on top of that.  Do not come looking to me for advice on how to do it all, and I am thoroughly humbled by those of you who manage even my standards in a full-time job.

Parenting, on the other hand, is going well.  I always tried to keep the afternoons for activities with the children.  Now, I have to do a bit more worrying about housework and we have errands to run, but we're still getting out to a playground or the zoo or the botanical gardens a couple of times a week.

The only thing that's really been lost is one on one time with my daughter.  My son gets individual attention during her nap, but it's unusual to have just my daughter and myself working or playing together.  Right now, I don't think it's a problem, especially since she's getting so much new stimulation at school, but I will probably start making the effort to get some alone-time with her after I've finished working.


So there we go.  That's how things stand for now.  Come March, it'll be a very different experience again, as I try the role of Stay at Home Mum with both kids at school in the morning (there's no point in pulling my daughter out of the class at that stage).  I freely admit, I'm looking forward to having so much time to myself, and at least we're fortunate enough that this won't be a financial burden.  Still, I'm hoping that this will be as short-lived a phase as my current position.  I'd like to have a much clearer idea of where I am heading in the long term.