Christmas Again

Christmas is probably always going to be tough for me, but I'm better prepared for it this Christmas than last time. If nothing else, I'll have an easier time of it because the kids will be with me the entire day—of course the flip side of that is that they and their father won't get to see each other at all this winter break. That's really hard.

But our little unit of three is ready. We'll have dinner at my parents—I offered to bring something, but my Mum has known me too long and insisted on doing everything herself.

Gifts and stockings will be opened here, in our new house and under our own tree. We bought a much smaller tree because of our low ceilings but still needed to trim the top to stop it dragging on the ceiling. I also only remembered after we opened the box of decorations that of course we had had to leave the lights in the US, so we had to do a next-day-delivery from Amazon.

To solve the problem of the kids' present to me, we've agreed that, instead of individual gifts to each other, we'll choose and buy a big family gift to ourselves—this kills two birds with one stone, as my birthday present (a week before Christmas) is included, though I am buying them separate gifts for their birthdays. We agreed on one of the very fancy LEGO sets, which I've ordered and wrapped to be opened by all three of us on Christmas day.

I told the children that this year, they would be responsible for filling my stocking. I took them to Bude Christmas Market, gave them £30 and told them I expected to get change. I wasn't at all sure how that would go, but they were really into it and luckily the stalls had genuinely nice knick-knacks that weren't ridiculously expensive. (I didn't go round with the kids, but I did look round.)  When we met up again, they gave me back £6.70, and I treated us all to hot chocolate at the cafe.

They're proudly confident that I'll like what they've got me. I had every intention of doing so, but now I'm genuinely excited to see what will be in there!

Meanwhile, we've picked up the Christmas edition of the Radio Times—that's a fun tradition to resume—so we're fully ready for every rainy day (i.e. the entire weather forecast) between now and school starting back up again. I've got a few days out in mind as well, once Christmas itself is out of the way. 

I never want to give the impression that our life is all fun and roses. I came out of the shower crying this morning—always a risk with showers, when my mind has time to wander to dark places. My daughter heard me, peeped through the door and offered me a cup of tea. Because she's awesome, and I'm lucky to have her. But that's what single parenthood means sometimes... that your eight year old has to be your therapist. It's not fair on her, and she can't exactly do an effective job because I can't tell her what's wrong. Still, she does make a good cup of tea.

That last paragraph wasn't for sympathy, just perspective. Like so many people, we can't solve our biggest problems. But we still plan on making our days merry and bright.